“Kansas is a place I couldn’t fckn wait to leave growing up. And I did leave, the first chance I got after college.”

I launched my Kansas Is “speech” with this statement when it was my turn to present during a Leadership Kansas adventure. I’m sure it was shocking to some, either that I opened with a negative or that I used some explicit language, or both, but being provocative wasn’t my intention. I just needed to be real.

After more than a decade doing my best to live authentically and combatting “Kansas Nice” which requires not speaking palatable platitudes that ring hollow and act as a protective mask for what’s genuine, I really don’t know how to pretend to be anything other than REAL. The laughs and nods I saw told me I wasn’t alone, so I didn’t sugarcoat the rest either and continued, hitting the main points in a condensed version of what I’ve captured here:
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Liz Hamor, a white woman with longish brown hair is sitting on the back of a gray convertible. She's wearing a teal t-shirt that says, "GLSEN + YOU = CHANGE" with a long sleeve white t-shirt underneath. Her eyes are lowered. Maybe she's praying, maybe she's talking to the driver. Either way, she looks somber.

Wichita Pride Parade, Pride Marshall, September 2016

“Well, I didn’t get shot!”

I said these surreal words to my best friend after she asked me at the end of the Pride Parade how it went. She enthusiastically responded, “Yay! I prayed that you wouldn’t get shot!”

It was September 2016. I had the honor of being the Pride Marshall for the Wichita Pride Parade, which meant I got to ride in a convertible at the front of the parade and awkwardly wave to everyone. I would be lying if I said my family, friends and I weren’t a bit nervous about what might happen that day. It was just a few weeks before the November 2016 presidential election and acts of violence against my LGBTQ+ friends and Black, brown and Asian friends were happening all across the country due to the stochastic terrorism* fueled by one of the candidates with a thing for red hats. The Pulse Massacre had happened just three months prior in Florida. The rising tension was almost palpable for those of us paying attention. 

I reignited my racial and social justice advocacy journey in 2012 and saw the stochastic-terrorism-empowered “lone-wolf attacks” on people in my community increase drastically after a mostly broke businessman (more famous for being a former television-show host who shouted, “You’re fired!”) announced his run for office in June 2015. In the weeks and months that followed, I publicly shared stories of the acts of homophobic, transphobic and racist violence my friends survived on streets, subways, trains and bars at the hands of “lone wolves” who chanted the candidate’s name. I believed I was helping everyone in my circle more clearly understand who this candidate really was and how he was empowering bullying, division, hate and violence with his dangerous rhetoric. I was so wrong.

In October 2016, I learned that several of my family members planned to vote for the man who was empowering the previously hidden darkest parts of many Americans to come to the surface. I pleaded with my family to see what I’d been seeing about the culture of violence he was ushering in. It went over about as well as you might expect. I was told I was over-reacting, called “intolerant”, and compared to a suicide bomber for “blowing up relationships”, but things were just getting started. Read More →

*Scroll down for English.*

La semana pasada escuché mi álbum favorito de hace más de 20 años, y lloré. Voces Unidas fue el álbum de los Juegos Olímpicos de Atlanta en 1996. Cuando yo estaba en la universidad, estas canciones le hablaban a mi corazón tierno y esperanzado. Son canciones de abrazar la diversidad para alcanzar un sueño colectivo, de esperanza, de paz, de un mundo nuevo.

Rápidamente aprendí que cambiar el mundo no era tan fácil como una esperanza y un sueño. Se necesita TRABAJO. De hecho, el mundo se ha vuelto francamente aterrador para las personas que mantienen identidades marginadas a pesar del trabajo. Sin embargo, al escuchar otra vez esas canciones, sentí ESPERANZA de todos modos. ¿Por qué? Porque estoy en esta lucha con personas quienes esperan y sueñan conmigo, quienes están en esta lucha conmigo y yo con ellos. Y mientras escuchaba esta música, este poema llenó mi alma:

Me llaman hermana.

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A cartoon drawn by the Naked Pastor. Four boxes are shown. In the first, a rainbow sheep stands facing a wall and a white sheep at the gate. A crowd of white sheep are behind the wall. The head white sheep says, "Be patient! We're working on it! 2nd image shows the rainbow sheep sitting while the other sheep are inside the closed gate and wall. 3rd box shows a white sheep telling the rainbow sheep, "Still working on it!" The 4th box shows a pile of rainbow dust and bones where the lonely rainbow sheep sat while the rest of the sheep are safely behind the wall. The sky is dark.

The ache in my jaw told me they were coming. It always cramps when BIG tears are threatening. People walked to and fro outside of my office door, so I had to hold the body-wracking sobs at bay until I was alone. My jaw ached more. My throat tightened. I used the pain to focus and push through what I needed to do. Kids are counting on me and I was just reminded that I’ve failed another.

I made it two more hours, working to ensure that LGBTQ students feel safe in schools. (And let’s be real, hoping to change society at the same time.) Then I posted the following to FaceBook before leaving my office for home:

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“I love you whether you’re gay or straight. Or bi. Or pansexual. Or asexual. I love you whether you’re a boy or girl, or both, or neither. Not only will I love you, I will protect you and your friends fiercely. You know, I love you no matter what.”

This weekend, for the umpteenth time, I needed to make sure that my kids know that whoever they are, whoever they love, I will actively, fiercely love them.

Also this weekend, the United Methodist General Conference is meeting to discuss whether they will split over fully embracing their LGBTQ members. In 2019, many people are still confused about how to love each other in a way that makes people feel loved, which shows me they are still confused about God’s Love.

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Dear Wichita Public Library, 

My name is Liz Hamor. My pronouns are she/her. I am the Director of GLSEN Kansas, a local chapter of a national organization that works with K-12 schools to ensure that every member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

I wanted to applaud you for hosting an event with Drag Queens at the library in September (during Pride week). I work with hundreds of LGBTQ students and adults, and wanted to take a few moments to explain why visible community support is crucial. Read More →

A screengrab of the dictionary definition of stochastic terrorism

Many people who want to be called “allies” aren’t actually willing to put in the work to do allyship. Sometimes it’s just because they don’t know how and need some help. Other times it’s because they still need to learn one of the main lessons of doing allyship: It’s not about them. It’s not about receiving praise. Or about their own feelings. And it’s definitely not about staying comfortable while others LIVE uncomfortably.

Several months ago family members chastised me for commenting on another family member’s FaceBook posts that included a meme that had homophobic undertones. Now, the well-intentioned family member who posted it didn’t realize it held homophobic undertones, and I was aware of that. However, I know from experience that there are at least two groups of people who would recognize the bias… LGBTQ people, and those who are anti-LGBTQ. Which takes me to my first rules of allyship:

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I sometimes feel like losing my cool isn’t professional, but sometimes one has to be allowed to be human, right? Maybe I’m not always professional. Maybe sometimes I’m just real.

Well, I’m so ANGRY today, this week, for what this administration is doing to my trans friends. The emotional turmoil that they’re going through, the heartache, fear, anger of a government trying to erase them. Let. that. sink. in. Read More →